Wednesday, March 28, 2012

generations


I love that my husband and his father have the same shaving routine.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sunday, March 18, 2012

21 weeks

Hi Goma-chan,

I've been feeling you flopping around regularly, drumming a little beat under my liver and then quickly moving down to rest across my cervix. It's been both exciting and strange to nudge around for where you are and feeling something hard. And then I quickly stop, because as your dad says, I don't want to "rub your eye off." I am jealous of your ability to sleep on and off through the day, but I woke you up this morning percussing for the top of my uterus. You also perked up with your dad and me singing the theme song from Oklahoma!, which gives me hope that you will be as easily amused by random things as we are. Or at least, classical musicals.

I'm getting a little nervous about how you and I are going to be sharing this space over the next 4 months, but people assure me that these sorts of things usually work out. Your dad and I are also alternating between the worry about all the things needed to prepare for your arrival, and the pragmatism of "a place to sleep, food, and diapers." Oh, and a car seat, so we can actually leave the hospital with you without being arrested. Priorities!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

"something stranger than ever this time, is about to happen to me again soon"

I have been searching for poster-sized prints of Nancy Elkholm Burket's illustrations from James and the Giant Peach. Hers were in the version of the book I had as a child, and I am hoping to have one at some point to decorate the kiddo's room. I loved how they fit in with the fantastic nature of the story, like a half-dream.


(The following one is actually my favorite, and I did make a copy to hang on my wall when I was younger. I wanted to get lost in those clouds.)


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

coming soon...

There's been some recent developments.


So far, so good. This has been a relatively uneventful pregnancy, but I'm not silly enough to assume it will stay that way. At five months, I am clearly showing, which is nice on one hand (evidence that I didn't just eat a big sandwich), but weird on the other (people are starting to touch my abdomen, even though the kid isn't anywhere above my belly button yet). Also, I tried to bike commute yesterday, and wore myself out.

I've been writing weekly notes to the kiddo, which I'll publish back dated now that I've gone public. The positive messages have been so touching.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

19 weeks

Hi Goma-chan,

I missed writing you last week. You're getting bigger and bigger, which is continually fascinating to me. I mean, going from 5 to 6 inches is probably not a huge subjective jump, but that's a 20% increase in length. I would be 6'7" and taller than almost everyone I know, except for your cousin Booker, who is basically the Jolly Green Giant except, you know, black.

It turns out that you're going to have a cousin super close in age to you! Your aunt Brooke is 9 weeks pregnant, so at least you'll have someone to hang out with when all of us adults are like, so embarrassing.

It seems that most of the things I read about having a kiddo are perspectivized in either a) glowing, romanticized, miraculous heaven-experience, or b) birth and newborns are pure hell. Hoping that you are somewhere in the middle. My inclination towards preparing for worst case scenarios makes it so that the horrifying stories only scare me so much, but I so want to feel excited about your coming into our lives, that it's hard to not feel put off with all the cynicism.

Your grandfather (my dad) is constantly after me to take things easy, don't push myself to hard. But you are really very easy so far. You may get more cranky as you start running out of room, but hopefully my child-bearing hips will give you some space.

I've been registering for baby stuff. It's hard to know what you'll want. I hope that I am choosing things of which you would approve. I am, however, putting my foot down at all of this.

photo laxity

So.

I haven't used my DSLR since November.

For me, if I don't make photography a "habit," I find myself slipping further and further into self-consciousness. Like, "well, I haven't shot in a while, so the next time I do, it needs to be spectacular." I've stopped pulling it out for day-to-day events and activities. I keep wanting to save it for something extraordinary. And this is dumb, but I can't seem to help myself. What I decided to do last week is switch out my DSLR for my original film camera, and started shooting color film. It's also been a little bit of a process, but at least I've been taking a few photos every week or so. What's dumb is that I should feel *more* pressure with a film camera, since I only have 36 exposures as opposed to a phat ass memory card, but I think because I don't see the picture right away, it's easier for me to take a step back from what I'm trying to do. I would also love to go back to shooting 4x5 for the same reason.

I *have* been shooting a lot with my iPhone, however. I guess since the photos don't seem "real," there's less pressure. Since I haven't shared photos in quite a while, here's some stuff from my Instagram: